Hello, Anxious Attachment.

It’s been a long road.
Are you tired yet?

Anxious attachment can feel like living on a roller coaster you never bought a ticket for. The highs feel intoxicating. The lows feel unbearable. And somewhere in between, your nervous system is constantly scanning for signs of distance.

You know this cycle.
You’ve lived it.

But are you aware of it this time?

The Questions That Signal a Turning Point

At some point, the questions get louder:

Am I giving more than I’m receiving?

Am I shrinking to keep someone?

Is my nervous system constantly in overdrive?

Am I losing myself in the process?

There comes a moment when your body knows before your mind does.
The dysregulation isn’t random — it’s information.

And sometimes, the breaking point isn’t dramatic.
It’s exhaustion.

My Breaking Point

For me, it wasn’t one event.
It was accumulation.

I was pouring into relationships that felt emotionally unavailable. I was over-functioning, hoping effort would equal security. At the same time, my children needed me constantly. There was no room left for me.

It felt like drowning — not suddenly, but slowly.

Not because I didn’t love deeply.
But because I had abandoned myself in the process of trying not to be abandoned.

That was the realization.

The Shift: Choosing Myself

The shift didn’t look like anger.
It didn’t look like shutting down.

It looked like turning inward.

I pictured my inner child — the part of me who learned that closeness could disappear. I imagined looking into her eyes and saying: “I choose you. Even if that means being alone. I choose you.”

That moment wasn’t about independence.
It was about self-attachment.

It was about becoming the secure base I kept searching for externally.

And something softened.

Letting go didn’t feel like loss anymore.
It felt like alignment.

Healing Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment doesn’t heal by gripping tighter.
It heals by:

Regulating your nervous system

Building internal safety

Noticing hyperactivation without acting on it

Mirroring effort instead of overextending

Allowing space without chasing

It heals when you stop outsourcing your worth.

It heals when you realize that abandonment of self is more painful than being alone.

You Are Not Broken

If you resonate with anxious attachment, you are not “too much.”
You adapted.

And adaptation is intelligent.

But healing asks something new of you.
It asks you to stay when your instinct says chase.
It asks you to release when your instinct says cling.
It asks you to choose yourself — over and over again.

That’s a big ask.

But you might be more ready than you think.